On a calm Sunday evening, Bert and Edna, an elderly couple, are seated on the porch swing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They have been wed for fifty-five years. They are both drinking lukewarm tea while they watch squirrels in the yard battle for a Cheeto as the sun sets and the birds sing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Edna sighs suddenly and says, \u201cBert, let\u2019s discuss our bucket lists.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bert\u2019s eyebrows go up. \u201cLists of buckets? I\u2019m 87, Edna. \u201cWake up tomorrow and remember where I put my pants\u201d is the last item on my list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Edna laughs. \u201cNo, I\u2019m not kidding. Each of us should do something we\u2019ve always wanted to do but haven\u2019t had the opportunity to do before we leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bert pauses to reflect. \u201cAll right, all right. Skydiving has always been a dream of mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Edna\u2019s eyes enlarge. \u201cSkydiving? Bert, you fainted for three minutes the last time you knelt down to tie your shoe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bert gives a shrug. \u201cWell, just let me land in the neighbor\u2019s garden if I do fall in midair. My goal has always been to haunt him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Edna nods and they laugh. \u201cAll right, all right. You take a skydive. I\u2019ll complete mine as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bert narrows his eyes. \u201cAnd what do you have?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Edna\u2019s eye suddenly sparkles mischievously, just like it did when she \u201caccidentally\u201d dropped Bert\u2019s bowling trophy out the car window during a fight in 1965.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBert, I\u2019ve always wanted to tell you something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bert swallows. \u201cWhat do you confess?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know how your favorite recliner always mysteriously leaned to the left for 20 years?\u201d Edna whispers as she leans in closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bert gives a nod. Yes, I did blame the dog. It hobbled for weeks, poor thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Edna grins. \u201cWell, I did it. After you spilled grape soda on my brand-new curtains in 1989, I jammed a spatula in the bottom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bert lets out a gasp. \u201cYou are a monster!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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